she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
