its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
