He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
