some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
