No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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