you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
