Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
