She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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