So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
