The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
