By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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