Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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