Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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