I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
