I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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