I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
that's an acceptable place to lick
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
