I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
