Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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