Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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