Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
