i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
