North Korea, Best Korea!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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