i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
