Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just found puke in my bra..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
