question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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