think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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