All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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