I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
