I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
