It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
