Already got asked if we're dating
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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