that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
