I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
