so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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