I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
