There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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