Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
