it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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