i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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