Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
the raccoons are back...
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