im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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