the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
