i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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