Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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