I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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