She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
