Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
