I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
