Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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