i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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