sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
