His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
