I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he shaved USA in his pubs
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
